Category: April Fools

Leak Reveals Secret Criterion for Accepting Class of 2012 By the Daily Gazette on 04-01 at 12:43 am

Every year the admissions office is flooded by eager, enthusiastic, and over-qualified applicants determined to make their way onto Swarthmore’s campus not as mere visitors but accepted students. Every year, [...]

Architects Draw Plans for Yet Another Dorm By the Daily Gazette on at 12:42 am

Corbin Ellery ’77, Swarthmore’s Director of Edifice Erection, unveiled the blueprints of a new dormitory early this week. The dorm was designed in response to a growing need for [...]

English Department to offer new Workshop: “The Art of Haiku” By the Daily Gazette on at 12:41 am

This week, Swarthmore’s English Literature Department unveiled plans to offer a new writing workshop: “The Art of Haiku.” A visiting professor and haiku master, Tumanee Sillabils will be teaching the [...]

New Course Offered: Dialogue and Dialoguing By the Daily Gazette on at 12:41 am

The Peace and Conflict Studies Program has a new course offering titled “Dialogue and Dialoguing”. The course, which will be offered in the fall, aims to familiarize those interested in [...]

Chalking of Camel Deemed Problematic By the Daily Gazette on at 12:38 am

Middle Eastern students, and appreciators of Middle Eastern culture, were appalled to find a cartoonish chalking of a multi-colored camel, apparently in roller skates, drawn on the hill from Sharples. [...]

Fraud Mars Senior Class Gift Voting By the Daily Gazette on at 12:37 am

The senior class officers are asking for a revote on the senior class gift after discovering evidence that all the ballots had been tampered with.
For the last week, seniors were [...]

Student Council to Receive Protection By the Daily Gazette on at 12:01 am

Starting next year, the Student Council President and his closest advisors will be granted the protection of the Swarthmore Secret Service. Fellow students will guard the President at all [...]

How Long Will Swarthmore's Phoenix Live? By the Daily Gazette on at 12:01 am

Since the selection of the Phoenix as Swarthmore's new mascot, students have debated the meaning of the creature. According to legend and Wikipedia, the phoenix "is a mythical bird with [...]

Why Does The Panini Grill Break So Often? And Why Are So Many Students Taking "Leaves of Absence"? By the Daily Gazette on at 12:01 am

A Daily Gazette investigation has uncovered a startlingly unconventional terrorist group on campus.
The new panini grill has caused much jubilation and distress among Swarthmore students. But it's been replaced many [...]

BOM Decides Not To Cull Deer After All By the Daily Gazette on at 12:01 am

The Board of Managers surprised everyone when they announced last week that they were no longer interested in culling the deer population in Crum Woods.
Over the last year, different [...]

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