Weekly Horoscopes From Professor Trelawney

*Warning: objects in telescope are farther than they may at first seem

 

Aries
Mar 21-Apr 19

Happy Birthday, Aries! You may be feeling trapped by your normal routine this week, so try to break up the monotony if you get the chance. Whether you eat at a cool restaurant in Media, meet someone new on Tinder, or check out a scary movie, it’s always fun to seek some thrills.

Famous Aries:

  • Jackie Chan
  • Maya Angelou
  • Nancy Pelosi
  • Philip Zimbardo

Taurus
Apr 20-May 20

Thanks to Mercury’s helpful influence, you will be less introspective than you were last week. You’ve gained some clarity of mind, so now you can put some of your plans into play, Taurus.

 

Gemini
May 21-Jun 20

This week is a time for reflection and coming to terms with your personal beliefs. Or at least it will be for famous Gemini Donald Trump, who has been making a lot of adjustments to his platform lately.

Cancer
Jun 21-Jul 22

You’ve felt more uncertain than ever this past week, Cancer. You are in a period of change and renewal, and even more opportunities will arise in the next few days. Stay hydrated.

Leo
Jul 23-Aug 22

Due to cosmic influences, you will find the strength to kick your plans into gear this week, Leo. Sometimes academic assignments can make you feel like you’re being attacked by a swarm of bees, but this week will be as sweet as honey.

Virgo
Aug 23-Sep 22

Stay on top of your work this week, as there might be some surprises in store for you. Don’t let these disruptions catch you off-guard, and feel free to take matters into your own hands if you see a solution.

Libra
Sep 23-Oct 22

Don’t be afraid to play up your strengths this week, Libra. Given the chance, go ahead and charm the pants off that cute person you see in class, or dive into the academic topics you love most.

Scorpio
Oct 23-Nov 21

There are quite a few items on your to-do list, but you’re heading into this week with confidence. You can never be too prepared, Scorpio. You will need to be on your toes if you want to reach your goals this week.

Sagittarius
Nov 22-Dec 21

Even if you’re not feeling extremely extroverted this week, you have already managed to intrigue someone around you. You can either pretend to be oblivious to their advances or flirt with them if you like, but don’t feel pressured to make any romantic decisions this week.

Capricorn
Dec 22-Jan 19

Because of Venus’s position, you are more inclined than ever to be romantic and affectionate with your loved ones. You may also feel like more of a “homebody,” and feel the urge to stay in your dorm and eat lots of snacks.

Aquarius
Jan 20-Feb 18

These next few weeks will really be a tough grind for you, Aquarius. Use your creativity to keep things fresh and to solve problems along the way. Take pride in your busy schedule, and be thankful for the solar energies that are guiding you during this time.

Pisces
Feb 19-Mar 20

You are mostly at peace with your personal relationships…well, except with your roommate. This week is a good time to make changes and have conversations to try and improve your connections with your roomie, Pisces.

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