Weekly Horoscopes from Professor Trelawney

*Disclaimer: The opinions expressed herein are not necessarily those of the Daily Gazette, not necessarily mine, and probably not necessary at all.

 

Aries

Mar 21-Apr 19

Late this week, a Moon-Mars conjunction might lead to feelings of doubt, insecurity, and anger. Make sure to spend time thinking positively about your personal and spiritual goals, Aries, and be ready to make changes in your life.

 

Taurus

Apr 20-May 20

The Full Moon on the 22nd will come just in time, Taurus, and help you see many opportunities to expand your relationships and make new plans. Maybe you’ll make a surprising new friend, or figure out your summer internship.

 

Gemini

May 21-Jun 20

Sometimes it’s not the weight of the burden, it’s the way that you carry it, Gemini. Now that the semester is nearly halfway over, you will finally find your groove after weeks of instability, and your burdens will seem lighter because of this.  

 

Cancer

Jun 21-Jul 22

Relationships, either romantic or platonic, will be strengthened this week, as Venus forms a parallel with Mars. Expect extra opportunities to speak with your crush—  even if it’s only in line at Sharples.

 

Leo

Jul 23-Aug 22

Do you ever feel spent, Leo? Lately you’ve been spending time, spending money, spending your spiritual resources, and even spending your meal points at Kohlberg. With midterms and spring break on the horizon, it’s time to take account of your priorities, otherwise you might just go broke.

 

Virgo

Aug 23-Sep 22

School and career are even more complicated than ever, and you’ve just been rolling with the punches, Virgo. Think of yourself as Rocky Balboa or the Karate Kid, with the odds stacked up against you. By Friday, you will be yelling “Yo Adrian!” and kicking your problems in the face.

 

Libra

Sep 23-Oct 22

With the Moon entering your sign on the 24th, expect your natural inclinations to seek order and harmony to be even stronger than usual, Libra. Before you start organizing your schedule or advising your loved ones, look to improve yourself and your habits.

 

Scorpio

Oct 23-Nov 21

This week, you will find yourself more willing than ever to face your problems directly, Scorpio. Fully energized by the Full Moon and Mars’ position in your sign, you will be able to tackle the issues that once troubled you.  

 

Sagittarius

Nov 22-Dec 21

Loneliness and insecurity might be nipping at your heels this week, while you try to manage your coursework and stay warm. A good way to perk yourself up is by fixing up your dorm room or making changes in your appearance, and keeping in mind that spring is on the way.

 

Capricorn

Dec 22-Jan 19

You’ve been especially self-indulgent lately. Yummy food, extra naps, and time spent focusing on your personal life have all been eating into your work-time. Try to find a balance, because, as Lazlo Bane says, “You’ve got to work to feed the soul.”

 

Aquarius

Jan 20-Feb 18

This week might be difficult for you, Aquarius. As Venus influences your need to feel loved by others, you will feel torn between being social and being studious. Fear not, because spring break is just around the corner.

 

Pisces

Feb 19-Mar 20

Happy Birthday Pisces! You’re feeling introverted and creative, and having the Sun in your sign only increases your spiritual energies. You’ll only want to focus on the things you enjoy most—  your favorite classes, or areas of your life that are going well. As fun as that can be, set some time aside to use your extra creativity and intuition to improve the less-fun aspects as well.

 

Famous Pisces:

Alan Rickman

Ruth Bader Ginsburg

Justin Bieber

B.F. Skinner


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