Junior Sprains Neck After Vigorous Swat Swivel

Worth Health Center send out an email Monday evening warning students about potential injury from excessive “Swat Swiveling.” The practice, popular among students gossiping about each other in places like Sharples, Essie Mae’s, or Science Center Commons, involves rotating one’s neck from side to side, oftentimes stretching the tender muscles, in order to look out for the person being talked about and avoid embarrassment.

Worth’s email mentioned that Karl Haygins ’15, a philosophy major, came to the Health Center with a severe neck sprain early Monday morning. The emailed explained that Haygins had turned his neck slightly too violently to the left, and without taking a break, flipped it back to the right with equal force, thus spraining his neck. The topic of his conversation is unknown, and he has declined to comment.

This is not the first time that Worth has sent emails out to students warning them about dangerous practices. Early this semester, the Health Center warned that the beloved “Swat Seven” could hamper students’ perception of reality. One nurse explained, “We believe that students who consistently arrive seven minutes late to class have a hard time adapting to the real world. The real world doesn’t accept lateness. But some Swatties can’t seem to understand that.” In an effort to curb this harmful trend, Worth advised setting one’s watch seven minutes early.

As of now, Haygins is recovering quickly and well. Worth has no immediate solution for the Swat Swiveling Epidemic but simply closed its email with the hope that Swarthmore students find something better to talk about than who hooked up with who at the Club Poon Party last Saturday.


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