Phi Psi and Psi Phi to Merge

In a surprising turn of events, fraternity Phi Psi and science fiction club Psi Phi have decided to merge.

“It all makes sense. Our names our similar, and our missions are similar: loyalty, friendship, and diversity,” said Raul Ordonez ’09, a Phi Psi brother. “The biggest stumbling block was the whole gender thing, but after Psi Phi’s stunning gender-bending performance at Mr. Swarthmore last year, it is clear these boundaries can be over-come.”

The mailroom is happy with the change. “We can finally deliver their mail correctly,” said one worker who asked to remain anonymous. Generally, however, people are confused. “Uhm. What? Why? Who?” said one Swattie last Saturday night, when asked for her thoughts on the change.

At Psi Phi, the decision was met with jubilation. “We knew this was going to happen–we dreamed of it happening–when we changed our name. We all just want to have fun, right? And now Phi Phi Psi Psi can really reach out to all groups on campus,” said Revan Williams ’09, one of Psi Phi’s co-presidents.

It isn’t clear what changes this merger will require, but Swarthmore will never be the same.

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