We know what you have to do this weekend. Oh yes, do we ever know. You’re going an exciting trip to McCabe or Cornell. And you won’t leave except to eat and perhaps later to drunkenly rub up against someone at Paces. But we implore you: hit the books. God knows, you need to. Or else, you will fail at life.
All those exciting things going on here on campus and in Philadelphia? They’re too good for you. Study. We know you aren’t very productive during the week. We saw you reading the Jolt in McCabe, and proceeding to add yourself to the current Hot List. We saw you napping in your room all Tuesday afternoon. Well, actually we didn’t, but our friend’s hallmate’s boyfriend’s roommate did.
Weekend just means that there aren’t any classes to get in the way of your reading.