Martin Warner to leave Swarthmore, join circus

Beloved Registrar and Mustache November participant Martin Warner has announced that he will leave Swarthmore next month to join the circus.

The fun-loving administrator said that his current position, while “fulfilling, challenging and enjoyable” does not have that je ne sais quoi: that special glee (and odor) that only a circus can provide. Swarthmore, Warner says, just “doesn’t have enough elephants, jugglers or tightrope walkers.”

Warner will use skills he acquired as Registrar in his new position as trapeze artist. The two, he said, are not dissimilar. “You think scheduling all these classes so that all those double majors in Physics and Medieval Studies can get their required courses is easy? It requires great balance.” He notes that the wardrobe of the trapeze artist is vastly superior to the “business casual” that he is accustomed to.

Rumors that Myrt Westphal will take on Warner’s duties in addition to her current ones were unconfirmed at this time.


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